The creatures inside us all
by Vegetableswillhavetheirrevenge
Summary: Arthur was not expecting an old sorcerer to appear in the middle of an extremely boring council meeting and turn all of Camelot into a bunch of talking animals etc... But just because he wasn't expecting it, it didn't mean it wasn't going to happen.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay. This popped into my head literally less than an hour ago, and I just had to write it straight away. I thought it up as a one-shot, but I think it has the potential to stretch for a few chapters if people like it. I picture this as fairly early in S4 (although, unfortunately, after the horrible events of episode three).**

**Well, on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin (panic and chaos would spread fast if I did. Lol.)**

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The council was convened. Of course it was- the council loved convening, and Arthur couldn't very well upset the council, so he had to go along with their regular insistence that it was necessary for them to convene at least once every two days. No matter how bored it made him. The only upside that he could see was that Merlin was forced to sit (well, stand) through the meetings too. Maybe eventually the punishment would teach the lazy idiot to spend less time in the tavern and more time fulfilling his duty. Or even just to learn what the word 'duty' even meant.

The recently-crowned King's barely-stifled yawn was abruptly cut off when, in a manner he deemed to be rather cliché and flashy, a wizened old man appeared in a whirl of smoke, right on top of the council's table. Not the usual old man of course- that Dragoon fellow would never dare to show his face again, if he knew what was good for him- but an extraordinarily old man nonetheless.

Snapping himself out of his haze of boredom, Arthur jumped to his feet and drew his sword, giggling inwardly at the way Merlin had stepped forward from his corner, staring at the man almost _warningly_. Ha! As if _Merlin_ could do anything against a sorcerer!

"Calm down, sire," uttered the man, his deep voice holding a strangely calming effect. "I mean no-one here any harm." With an elegant hop one would expect from someone at least fifty years younger, the man jumped over the head of one rather startled council member, then sent Arthur a friendly smile.

"What else would you be here for?"

The man's eyebrows rose by what seemed to be about half a league. "I take it, by your tone, that you are expecting me- as a sorcerer- to have some vile plan to kill you and take over your Kingdom?"

"Of course. What else would a sorcerer come here to do?" Arthur ignored the strangely indignant look which flashed over his manservant's face, and instead focused on the movements of the not-so-frail old man before him. To his surprise, the man breathed an irritated sigh.

"And with that sort of attitude, young man, I'm really not surprised you have so many sorcerers after you. You really are too stubborn for your own good." Before Arthur could retaliate, the man continued. "And that it precisely why I have no choice but to do _this_!"

The man, for some unfathomable reason, sent a reassuring look towards Merlin, before spreading his arms wide. All of a sudden, Arthur found himself frozen in place. And judging by the council members' expressions, the old fuddy-duddies were in a similar state.

Smiling, the man started to speak in the strange guttural words of the ancient language (Merlin's expression growing more and more amused as he went along). Then, when his long spiel had finally come to an end, he gave a satisfied nod.

"There. For the rest of the day, starting from when I leave, every person present in Camelot- as well as those who arrive during the day- will take on the form of the creature who most represents their personality. Although you will all still be able to speak. I hope you will use this opportunity to learn a few things about the people around you." And with that, the old man disappeared in yet another swirl of smoke.

Arthur would have scoffed at the man's distinctly un-sorcerer-like behaviour. But he was a bit distracted by the fact that he suddenly appeared to be what people years in the future would term as far-sighted. That, and the strange realization that everything was now in black and white, and his head was about level with the table.

"Um, Arthur?" Came Merlin's voice from behind him, with not-hidden-at-all laughter present by the cartload. "Apparently, the creature you're most like... is a Goat..."

A feeling of indignant horror quickly settled itself in the King's newly-shaped four stomachs. He turned around, fighting the urge to chew on a piece of paper dangling over the edge of the table, completely determined to give Merlin a piece of his mind. Only to feel his bearded jaw drop.

This was just _not _fair.

Why did he- the King of Camelot!- have to be a _goat_, when his lazy, idiotic drunkard of a servant had succeeded in somehow tricking the sorcerer into turning _ him_ into a magnificently noble-looking, horse-sized _DRAGON_ (of all things!)- complete with gorgeously glittering ebony scales and startlingly blue eyes!

This. Really. Was. Not. Fair.

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**So? What did you think? Let me know if you want to see more (I know exactly what Agravaine would be turned into)**

**Oh, and before I forget- apologies to any of my readers (for this and other ongoing stories), but updates are likely to be practically non-existent for the next couple of weeks, With a single reason, which I'm sure most of you will understand (although reluctantly) with the following two words: Exam season. I'M REALLY SORRY!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, by popular request, I guess this story of randomness is continuing XD Yay! Hopefully, all reasoning behind Arthur being a goat will be explained in time (unfortunately, it ended up not being done this chapter), but I hope you can bear with me until then.**

**I shan't keep you much longer. Please enjoy XD**

**(Oh, and in reply to 'Narg,' the 1000 words thing for the first chapter wasn't actually planned, but a rather delightful coincidence. Being slightly OCD about numbers, I was extraordinarily pleased when, after posting, I realised what I'd accidentally done. Rest assured, I would never deliberately alter a chapter just to match a certain word length.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin (and I suppose you can all guess why that is)**

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As Arthur glared in annoyance (and how a goat could manage to perfect such an annoyed expression would be anyone's guess), Merlin shuffled somewhat uncomfortably. Arthur couldn't bring himself to feel the least bit bad- Merlin deserved to feel uncomfortable, getting himself turned into a- well, what he had- while he, _the King_, was stuck as a Goat.

Eventually, Merlin seemed to decide that enough was enough, and looked down at himself. There was silence in the room, before the manservant eventually turned his face once more to his master.

"Ummm... Arthur?" He asked, apprehension leaking through his tone.

"What?" Arthur snapped.

"Am I, by any chance, a Dragon right now?"

"Yes, Merlin, you idiot. Yes you are a Dragon right now."

The Dragon blinked, sapphire eyes disappearing momentarily behind opaque lids. When they opened again, Arthur was entitled to an image few men had been privy to, even before the purge had begun. He'd never imagined a confused Dragon with a furrowed brow could still somehow manage to look majestic.

It was most irritating.

"But," started Merlin, "but that can't be right. I mean, I'm nothing _like_ a Dragon. Dragons are constantly speaking in riddles, or finding ways to dodge questions they don't want to answer. They're always hiding things. And they're never there when you want them." The young manservant was off in his own world by now, pacing back and forth, his scaled tail sweeping across the floor. "And then, when you finally think they're good for something, they disappear off to who-knows where, and you don't see them again for _ages_! They're like a huge, great big mess of contradictions! Always seeming like they'll say or do one thing, and then doing the complete opposite! And they're so _secretive_! How on _Earth_ am I _anything_ like that?"

No doubt the rant would have gone on longer, but at this final question Merlin just happened to snort. And, being an untrained Dragon at the time, a snort could never have proved itself a good thing. It was a good thing for Arthur that, even as a goat, he had good reflexes, or he would never have managed to stop his eye-rolling (_did Merlin actually realise that he was effectively describing himself?_) in time to dodge the small ball of fire the idiot let loose in his direction.

"Well, _Mer_lin," intoned the King. "Moving on, the more important point right now is-"

"-Just how to solve this issue."

Jumping around to rebuke old man whatever-his-name-was for interrupting, Arthur once again felt his bearded jaw drop. For there, occupying the seats of the various council members, was a multitude of the same creature. Just what that creature _was_ he had no idea, but here was, in his mind, solid proof that the council members were about as different to each-other as the wings of a single butterfly.

Each of the fuddy-duddies was now coated in dull brown fur, lightly interspersed with cream streaks, and a darker brown ring around each eye. Their facial features had drawn closer together, atop elongated necks, giving each one a slightly squashed, yet somehow almost lazy appearance, and each had sprouted a small, round lump of a tail. Arms had become disproportionately longer than legs, and at the end of each limb had erupted three pointed nails, in the place of fingers and toes.

All in all, they looked distinctly odd.

One of the creatures- likely lord Aloysius, taking the seating arrangement into consideration- yawned widely, then took hold of the arm of his chair, arranging himself so that he was clinging to it from below.

"Really," he continued (as it appeared he had been the one to speak before), "we should arrange a council meeting. We need to discuss this.

Arthur blinked. "But we're already _in_ a council meeting."

Aloysius yawned once more, quickly followed by several others around the table. "Yes," he started, "but this meeting is to discuss _taxes_ sire. We can't just go changing the agenda at the drop of a hat. It's not how things are done. There is protocol to consider, after all."

"I concur!" Stated a voice from the other end of the table. Arthur couldn't figure out who it was, but he didn't really care- each of the men were just as dull and old-fashioned as each-other. "We'll need time to think on this- I say we finish this meeting here, and reconvene tomorrow."

Arthur stared.

And then had a brainwave.

"What an excellent idea!" He exclaimed, keeping the sarcasm to a level nobody of the council's age range (except perhaps Gaius) would ever be able to detect. "We shall meet tomorrow at noon, then, to see what can be done."

And with that, he hastened to exit the room, Dragon Merlin following close behind (taking extra care not to snort).

"But Arthur," Merlin whispered, "the sorcerer said that the spell only lasts for today. Having a meeting tomorrow is pointless."

"I know that. Anything to get away from that bunch, though, and talk to someone who knows what they're talking about."

"I take it we're going to see Gaius then?"

"Got it in one."

Somehow, with a few pushes from Merlin, the pair managed to make their way out of the room (past a stoat and a sheep- presumably the guards), and had walked along about three corridors when a large, rotund man in a bright red, fur-lined suit (complete with floppy hat), black boots and a belt with a giant golden buckle came jogging towards them, puffing hard and lugging a full sack (with a rocking horse poking out of the top).

"Wah!" The man yelled upon seeing them. "Who are you, then?"

For the third time in the space of just a few minutes, a certain goat-king's jaw dropped. He knew that voice.

"Percival?"

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**Ja-jan!**

**What did you think? Is it still worth continuing? I'm working hard to think of suitable creatures for everyone, so I hope you like this so far. **

**Also, I'm thinking of awarding prizes to those who can guess any creatures I don't name directly, as is the case for the council members and Percival. I'll be sure to tell you directly at the beginning of next chapter either way, but if you want to guess, please go right ahead ^_^**

**(ps. Do you guys want longer chapters? I'm kind of going with the flow, but I'm willing to try to make them longer if that's what you want.)**


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